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Why do people have boobies?

Alex: Mommy, why do people have boobies?
Mommy: ::explains how mammals have boobs to feed babies.::
Alex: ::Thinsk about it:: .....Baby, ::Gestures to Mommy boobs:: Welcome to the Taj Mahal!!!!

Is Santa real?

Alex: Mommy, is Santa real?
Mommy: Do you think so?
Alex: ...No, I think he's made up. I think Santa is the spawn of shadows and we should get an alarm system.
Mommy: Buh!?
Alex: Because gifts show up in the dark for no apparent reason. That's not normal.

School Musical

Alex is required to get a frog costume for his spring musical.

He does not want to be a frog.

He is rebelling by wanting a red poison tree frog costume.

He hopes that people will realize he might be poisonous and will leave him alone...

Feb. 22nd, 2016

Alex is currently running from his room to the living room and back over and over faster and faster trying to level up his running skills. This is after he spent fifteen minutes walking in a circle staring at the iPad to "Level up my concentration skills."

Edit: He just "I need a drink! I...think I leveled up too fast..."


Alex: ...And the 3rd level monster has 250 health....::scribblewritescribble::
Me: ::looks:: Why is your handwriting on your monster health chart so nice and neat, but when I ask you to do your writing homework it's so messy?
Alex: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me: ಠ_ಠ


Alex woke up in the middle of the night to ask the following question: "Daddy, what does it mean when a house is divided against itself?"


Cartoon: We can watch Alf! Yessssss, eat that cat. You know you want it. You can find him, he's hiding right there in the cupboard...yesssssss...."

Alex: Wut.

Me: There was a show called Alf where an alien that crashed on Earth lived with a family and was constantly trying to eat their cat.

Alex: ಠ_ಠ You watched that?


Alex and I sat down to work on his homework. He was already displeased he had to do it. Then, when I told him, "It's only fourteen problems" he misunderstood and I got hit with big, distraught tears and then he said:

"W-what kind of person makes a seven year old kid do fourteen pages of homework!? Who would do such a thing!?"

After I explained to him it was only fourteen questions, not fourteen pages, he brightened and all was well with the world. He did make me promise to be more clear in the future, however.

Lego building and the Titanic

Alex has had an infatuation with the Titanic lately. Today, he was doing water play and asked Daddy to help him add staplers to his ship to keep it afloat.

He meant stabilizers.

Then he came up with a game from his "Don't break the ice" It's called "Don't break the ship"